I was overjoyed when one of my friends and classmate from the school called me up one fine morning to say that he is throwing a party to all his classmates/schoolmates to celebrate his 60th Birthday and requested my presence. I was quite eager and counting days to participate in the grand get-to-gether organised in Chennai.
It was pouring throughout the day and the weather punters had forecast heavy downpour due to a depression in the Bay of Bengal. Unmindful of the natural forces acting against, I went to greet my friend to the venue.
The moment I entered the hall, my friend looked at me and instead of welcoming, the first question he asked was"where is your wife"?
For a moment, it dampened my spirits but I politely remained calm giving a smile and wished him. There were guests who had gathered at the venue and some of them were known to me as school/classmates. The next salvo that my friend fired at me saying" you have put on lot of weight and should do exercise"! My patience ran out and I told him to look at himself before talking as he too had gained weight and looked heavy!! My friend realised that he had exceeded the limits of etiquette in commenting upon others and tried to dilute the moment by saying that he goes for a regular morning walk etc.. My enthusiasm to have a nice time with some schoolmates got weakened and I was looking for some opportunity to excuse myself and get back home.
Most of us, I am sure have already crossed 60 years or crossing in the coming year (1968 batch). We have to evolve with time and equip ourselves with decency, etiquette and learn how not to hurt the feelings of others at any given point of time. We must not get personal and shoot down the enthusiasm of friends with personal remarks such as "you look skinny", "you look very old", "where are your teeth?", you have put on weight etc.. which is uncomplimentary and hurts specially in a gathering where there are people around.
If personal comments are avoided, the relationship will get stronger and pleasant knowing pretty well that all of us are on the wrong side of life and have drawbacks and problems in our own ways.
Friends are supposed to walk with you throughout your life, be a source of strength and inspiration and this can be possible with mutual respect and regard for each other? There is nothing wrong in asking about my wife's absence or remarking about the physical status/ personality but the way and the time it was asked needs introspection and thinking!
It was pouring throughout the day and the weather punters had forecast heavy downpour due to a depression in the Bay of Bengal. Unmindful of the natural forces acting against, I went to greet my friend to the venue.
The moment I entered the hall, my friend looked at me and instead of welcoming, the first question he asked was"where is your wife"?
For a moment, it dampened my spirits but I politely remained calm giving a smile and wished him. There were guests who had gathered at the venue and some of them were known to me as school/classmates. The next salvo that my friend fired at me saying" you have put on lot of weight and should do exercise"! My patience ran out and I told him to look at himself before talking as he too had gained weight and looked heavy!! My friend realised that he had exceeded the limits of etiquette in commenting upon others and tried to dilute the moment by saying that he goes for a regular morning walk etc.. My enthusiasm to have a nice time with some schoolmates got weakened and I was looking for some opportunity to excuse myself and get back home.
Most of us, I am sure have already crossed 60 years or crossing in the coming year (1968 batch). We have to evolve with time and equip ourselves with decency, etiquette and learn how not to hurt the feelings of others at any given point of time. We must not get personal and shoot down the enthusiasm of friends with personal remarks such as "you look skinny", "you look very old", "where are your teeth?", you have put on weight etc.. which is uncomplimentary and hurts specially in a gathering where there are people around.
If personal comments are avoided, the relationship will get stronger and pleasant knowing pretty well that all of us are on the wrong side of life and have drawbacks and problems in our own ways.
Friends are supposed to walk with you throughout your life, be a source of strength and inspiration and this can be possible with mutual respect and regard for each other? There is nothing wrong in asking about my wife's absence or remarking about the physical status/ personality but the way and the time it was asked needs introspection and thinking!
No comments:
Post a Comment