My friend called me up to say in a tone of melancholy that his daughter was getting married! When I further enquired about the lack of enthusiasm in his invitation tone, he replied that the marriage was being held much against the wishes of the boy's parents! I was shocked as the boy and the girl worked in the U S and belonged to the same community and classmates from childhood!! They knew each other for more than 15 years that was sufficient enough for a successful marriage, any time!
My friend further added that he and his wife went to the groom's home to formally announce the interest or love that the children had for each other, the groom's father promptly demanded to know the Gothram. When he said that they belonged to Bharadwaja Gothra, the Groom's father stood up and put an end to the friendly atmosphere by saying that the marriage could not happen as they belonged to the same Gothra which means that the boy and the girl are considered siblings!! There was no scope for any further talks as the atmosphere turned hostile with the Boy's father asking the girl's parents to get up and leave ending the purpose of their visit.
The young boy and the girl stood their ground and insisted that they would get married to each other one day or the other like in a fairy tale! Understanding the boy's adamancy, his parents decided to approach the Religious Guru in Sringeri Swamigal for a solution. The pontiff of Sringeri, instead of giving a solution, knowing pretty well that the young couple were in love, gave a stern reply that the marriage in the same Gothra is unacceptable according to Hindu Dharma and both the parents and the couple should not even think of this marriage happening at any point of time. The boys's father humbly stood up and bowed to the revered saint and reiterated that the boy and the girl liked each other and were in Love! The saint gestured a Namaste(Indian style of welcoming/wishing) and refused to give a green signal or nod for the marriage!
The boy's parents refused this alliance and even threatened the boy and the girl's parents with dire consequences if they proceeded with the marriage. They even refused to meet anyone from the girl's side who wanted to engage them in a conversation and convince them about the marriage that's much more holier as there was love blooming in between since the past several years. The boy gave a period of 3 years waiting for a green signal from his parents that never came!
unable to wait indefinitely, the boy and the girl decided to go for their marriage that happened!.
The boy arrived from U S about 4 days earlier and as a mark of respect and obedience, he proceeded straight to his parent's home even though no one from his home had turned up to receive him! The announcement was made only to make them hold their position more strongly and not wanting to give in to support their son.
The D day arrived and the boy had to leave his home all alone without any of his relatives accompanying him to participate in the marriage. Even at the venue of marriage, he was constantly harassed by his father who made frantic telephone calls and sent out messages about his mother being unwell, sick and being taken to the hospital for admission etc... The Boy's parents were so much against the marriage that they wanted their son to get out of the venue and come back to them without marrying his beloved! The boy was mentally so stressed out with all these things but had a strong mind to get into the nuptial knot with his beloved.
The marriage of hearts and love successfully got over and the young couple, pronounced as Husband and Wife. The boy's parents were missing that was nullified with the presence of all relatives and friends of the girl and her parents!
The question that pierces the minds of friends like me is whether the actions of the Boy's parents were right? Is religion above Love? Is the Seer of Sringeri right in declaring the proposed marriage of loved ones as illegal and anti Hindu-Dharma?
Knowing pretty well that the young children were deeply in love since the past 15 years and more, was it necessary for the parents of the boy to approach the Sringeri Seer for a consent and blessings for this marriage? What does a Seer know about Love and marriage? The Seer very well knew that there were so many marriages which were conducted with his blessings and approval but never worked, resulting in separation and related miseries! Given this back ground, was it necessary to approach the Seer, once again for this marriage? Is it not time that our Spiritual gurus made efforts to unite hearts by enlarging their vision and set examples of oneness in humanity? Should they not become above board and preach equality and being humane besides their daily rituals and Pujas? I must also remind that the Seer of Kanchi Mutt absconded from the Mutt in the 80s only to be found with a woman in Tala-Kaveri near Mysore, after a few days of desperate search by the Devotees of the Mutt and the seer ably assisted by the T N Police! The Headlines printed in The HIndu newspaper said "Kanchi Seer absconding". There was a huge protest then by the devotees who wanted the newspaper to apologise for its printing and sending out wrong signals about the Seer that in turn, affected the religious following of the Mutt!
I leave this at this note and for people to ponder and discover for themselves what is right or wrong for them?
My heart was happy and joyous to meet the newly married couple and there was nothing but Blessings from the heart for them!!
My friend further added that he and his wife went to the groom's home to formally announce the interest or love that the children had for each other, the groom's father promptly demanded to know the Gothram. When he said that they belonged to Bharadwaja Gothra, the Groom's father stood up and put an end to the friendly atmosphere by saying that the marriage could not happen as they belonged to the same Gothra which means that the boy and the girl are considered siblings!! There was no scope for any further talks as the atmosphere turned hostile with the Boy's father asking the girl's parents to get up and leave ending the purpose of their visit.
The young boy and the girl stood their ground and insisted that they would get married to each other one day or the other like in a fairy tale! Understanding the boy's adamancy, his parents decided to approach the Religious Guru in Sringeri Swamigal for a solution. The pontiff of Sringeri, instead of giving a solution, knowing pretty well that the young couple were in love, gave a stern reply that the marriage in the same Gothra is unacceptable according to Hindu Dharma and both the parents and the couple should not even think of this marriage happening at any point of time. The boys's father humbly stood up and bowed to the revered saint and reiterated that the boy and the girl liked each other and were in Love! The saint gestured a Namaste(Indian style of welcoming/wishing) and refused to give a green signal or nod for the marriage!
The boy's parents refused this alliance and even threatened the boy and the girl's parents with dire consequences if they proceeded with the marriage. They even refused to meet anyone from the girl's side who wanted to engage them in a conversation and convince them about the marriage that's much more holier as there was love blooming in between since the past several years. The boy gave a period of 3 years waiting for a green signal from his parents that never came!
unable to wait indefinitely, the boy and the girl decided to go for their marriage that happened!.
The boy arrived from U S about 4 days earlier and as a mark of respect and obedience, he proceeded straight to his parent's home even though no one from his home had turned up to receive him! The announcement was made only to make them hold their position more strongly and not wanting to give in to support their son.
The D day arrived and the boy had to leave his home all alone without any of his relatives accompanying him to participate in the marriage. Even at the venue of marriage, he was constantly harassed by his father who made frantic telephone calls and sent out messages about his mother being unwell, sick and being taken to the hospital for admission etc... The Boy's parents were so much against the marriage that they wanted their son to get out of the venue and come back to them without marrying his beloved! The boy was mentally so stressed out with all these things but had a strong mind to get into the nuptial knot with his beloved.
The marriage of hearts and love successfully got over and the young couple, pronounced as Husband and Wife. The boy's parents were missing that was nullified with the presence of all relatives and friends of the girl and her parents!
The question that pierces the minds of friends like me is whether the actions of the Boy's parents were right? Is religion above Love? Is the Seer of Sringeri right in declaring the proposed marriage of loved ones as illegal and anti Hindu-Dharma?
Knowing pretty well that the young children were deeply in love since the past 15 years and more, was it necessary for the parents of the boy to approach the Sringeri Seer for a consent and blessings for this marriage? What does a Seer know about Love and marriage? The Seer very well knew that there were so many marriages which were conducted with his blessings and approval but never worked, resulting in separation and related miseries! Given this back ground, was it necessary to approach the Seer, once again for this marriage? Is it not time that our Spiritual gurus made efforts to unite hearts by enlarging their vision and set examples of oneness in humanity? Should they not become above board and preach equality and being humane besides their daily rituals and Pujas? I must also remind that the Seer of Kanchi Mutt absconded from the Mutt in the 80s only to be found with a woman in Tala-Kaveri near Mysore, after a few days of desperate search by the Devotees of the Mutt and the seer ably assisted by the T N Police! The Headlines printed in The HIndu newspaper said "Kanchi Seer absconding". There was a huge protest then by the devotees who wanted the newspaper to apologise for its printing and sending out wrong signals about the Seer that in turn, affected the religious following of the Mutt!
I leave this at this note and for people to ponder and discover for themselves what is right or wrong for them?
My heart was happy and joyous to meet the newly married couple and there was nothing but Blessings from the heart for them!!
